Have you seen the iPhone commercial with the stupid hipsters standing in line for hours just so they can buy a new phone, and then the one hipster who looks like he hasn't bathed or shaved in three weeks stands there counting his chubby little fingers while asking the question "Have you ever had deja, deja, deja, deja, deja vu*?
Yeah, I know you've seen it because they play it Every. Freaking. Commercial. Break.
My wife hates that commercial.
I hate it too, but that's beside the point. The point is: I feel like that chubby little hipster is talking about me. No, I don't have an iPhone (Android FTW), but it seems that I always tell myself "I'm going to start blogging again" and then I write a few posts and then put it on the shelf. Rinse and repeat. Over and over. Every single time I start, I stop again because I get scared that people are actually going to read this and
they won't like me because what I write about is stupid and I don't want
people to think I'm stupid.
Slow down. Deep breath...
Anyway, I'm going to give this a shot again. I might make it three posts, and this might be the jump start that I needed to get back into the habit of blogging all the time. This could be beginning of something fantastic, but it's probably going to end up like it always does - me doing this for a few weeks and then falling off the wagon again. After all, this cycle has played out many times before.
This time I think it's different though. This time I'm doing this because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. I know, you're probably sitting there thinking "he says that every single time", and you'd be right. I do say that every single time. But this time I mean it. (I know, I say that every time too, but this time I'm for real.)
This time around I have inspiration to write. A fellow blogger I greatly admire is doing a 30 days of writing challenge**, and it's inspired me to get off my lazy butt and write more. I feel a desperate need to communicate my thoughts with whomever may be reading this even though I don't know who I'm talking to unless I'm talking to myself, because I know who I am.
Or do I? Do I really know who I am? Maybe I do, and maybe I don't. Do you know who you are? Do any of us know? These are questions that I don't know the answer to, but maybe I can find the answers by writing in this space. Or maybe I won't, but at least I will be able to look back and say I tried.
In the end, that's all that really matters.
* The one that really gets on my nerves is the hipster who says "the
headphone jack is going to be on the bottom", and then does the whole
"my head is exploding" thing. I want to punch him in the face every time
I see the commercial, but at the same time I don't because I'm afraid
if I touch him I'll turn into a hipster.
** I am going to try and write a blog post every day for 30 days. If I can't keep this blog up after writing for 30 consecutive days, then it's a lost cause and I'll shut it down. I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does - at least I'll know that I gave it my best shot.
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
01 November 2012
30 September 2010
New directions
When I created this blog as a substitute for my old one that was destroyed by the blogger monster, I fully intended for this to be a place where I could come and express my inner-most thoughts and feelings on anything I felt like talking about. This place was supposed to be my therapy session, my one place where I could go to remind myself that it's okay to feel the way I feel, and to understand that it's okay if I'm slightly screwed up in the head -- which, the severity of this could be debated, I'm sure -- because I'm not the only person in the world who's screwed up in the head, and there are a lot of people who are screwed up a hell of a lot more than I am.*
* - If I tried, I'm sure I could name at least five people right off the top of my head.
It amazes me that when I sit down and really think about myself and this blog, I realize that I have been too lazy to do my favorite thing: write.* Why is that? Is there something wrong with me? (Don't answer that.) What could possibly make me not want to do something that I absolutely love to do? I mean, I know that lately I've had a lot going on that has prevented me from having a mindset to just sit down and write, but that mindset doesn't really apply here because this blog isn't topic specific. I don't have to write about sports, or the Panthers, or music, or movies. I don't have to write on a specific day every week, and I don't have to keep a mandated schedule that forces me to come up with something even if I'm not really in the mood to write anything.
* - Okay, it's not my FAVORITE thing to do, but it's in my top-5.
When I take away the veil and look deep into the recesses of my soul, I do see where my problem lies. I've been putting too much stress on myself to write about specific topics (i.e. - Panthers football). It's gotten to the point where talking about the Panthers is depressing me and making me hate writing, and it's not just because they suck right now -- don't get me wrong, that has something to do with it, but it's not the whole reason -- but it's more of a sense that I don't want to be restricted to just writing about one thing all the time. I like being able to freely discuss whatever is going on in my head, and I like being able to just be myself on paper. I haven't allowed myself to do that lately, and it's been slowly eating away at my soul until I finally gave up on writing altogether (as I'm sure you've noticed).
I did some reading the other day and came across this blog that really spoke to me. (Thanks, -A, I really appreciate your inspiration.) After reading it, I realized that I need to get back to where I used to be, and get off my lazy ass and write what I'm feeling without trying too hard to restrict myself to a topic, because I've learned that when I do that I end up being miserable when I can't come up with anything to fit into the guidelines that I've created for myself. I'm trying too hard to control everything, when I should just go with the flow, and it's making me miserable.
There are a lot of things in life that I have no control over, and I have to learn how to accept that. One of my biggest flaws is not being able to handle a situation if I can't do anything to change the outcome. For example, my brother has cancer, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it other than give him my support. It kills me to know that I can't take the pain and suffering away from him, and it frustrates me even more to know that I can't do ANYTHING about it.
There are only two things in this world that I can control. The first is my outlook on life, and the attitude that I choose to have each and every day when I wake up to go through my daily routine. I can also control how I will approach this blog, which will be with a free mind and spirit from this moment forward, and I will use this blog for the purpose that was intended when I created it: a place to come share what's going on in my mind, and a place to unwind and be myself with no reservations.
If I can't do that, then what's the point in writing anything at all?
* - If I tried, I'm sure I could name at least five people right off the top of my head.
It amazes me that when I sit down and really think about myself and this blog, I realize that I have been too lazy to do my favorite thing: write.* Why is that? Is there something wrong with me? (Don't answer that.) What could possibly make me not want to do something that I absolutely love to do? I mean, I know that lately I've had a lot going on that has prevented me from having a mindset to just sit down and write, but that mindset doesn't really apply here because this blog isn't topic specific. I don't have to write about sports, or the Panthers, or music, or movies. I don't have to write on a specific day every week, and I don't have to keep a mandated schedule that forces me to come up with something even if I'm not really in the mood to write anything.
* - Okay, it's not my FAVORITE thing to do, but it's in my top-5.
When I take away the veil and look deep into the recesses of my soul, I do see where my problem lies. I've been putting too much stress on myself to write about specific topics (i.e. - Panthers football). It's gotten to the point where talking about the Panthers is depressing me and making me hate writing, and it's not just because they suck right now -- don't get me wrong, that has something to do with it, but it's not the whole reason -- but it's more of a sense that I don't want to be restricted to just writing about one thing all the time. I like being able to freely discuss whatever is going on in my head, and I like being able to just be myself on paper. I haven't allowed myself to do that lately, and it's been slowly eating away at my soul until I finally gave up on writing altogether (as I'm sure you've noticed).
I did some reading the other day and came across this blog that really spoke to me. (Thanks, -A, I really appreciate your inspiration.) After reading it, I realized that I need to get back to where I used to be, and get off my lazy ass and write what I'm feeling without trying too hard to restrict myself to a topic, because I've learned that when I do that I end up being miserable when I can't come up with anything to fit into the guidelines that I've created for myself. I'm trying too hard to control everything, when I should just go with the flow, and it's making me miserable.
There are a lot of things in life that I have no control over, and I have to learn how to accept that. One of my biggest flaws is not being able to handle a situation if I can't do anything to change the outcome. For example, my brother has cancer, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it other than give him my support. It kills me to know that I can't take the pain and suffering away from him, and it frustrates me even more to know that I can't do ANYTHING about it.
There are only two things in this world that I can control. The first is my outlook on life, and the attitude that I choose to have each and every day when I wake up to go through my daily routine. I can also control how I will approach this blog, which will be with a free mind and spirit from this moment forward, and I will use this blog for the purpose that was intended when I created it: a place to come share what's going on in my mind, and a place to unwind and be myself with no reservations.
If I can't do that, then what's the point in writing anything at all?
27 May 2010
Let's give this a try
Let's give this a try and see if Blogger has corrected their problems.* I don't know if they have or not, but I would like to find out. It seems that they offer more customization than WordPress does (at least the customization that I prefer), and the free customization that I am used to with Blogger is $15 per year with WordPress.
* - For those out of the loop, click here.
$15 per year?!? I'm too cheap for that! Why should I have to pay $15 per year to fix a few problems with default templates that I don't love, when I can come to Blogger and do pretty much whatever I want for free?
Well, there is the part where Blogger ate my other blog. But, I'm willing to forgive and forget, if Blogger is willing to cooperate with me and not eat this blog. I do see that they've added a pages feature - I may have to give that a try.
Hopefully this works, because I miss my friends at Blogger. (More on this later.)
* * * *
I've moved all my posts from WordPress to Blogger, and will now continue my blogging journey where it started. I just can't stop thinking about the fact that I would have to pay $15 per year just to change a few default settings on a blog template. The more I think of it, the less I like it, and the more I wanted to move back to blogger.
I know what you're thinking: "But dude, it's only $1.25 per month." Well, that's not entirely true, because I have two blogs at WordPress, so it would be $2.50 per month, and that's not even the point. The point is: I don't want to pay for something that I can get for free. Do I have the money? Of course I do, but why spend it on something as minor as a blog when I can spend it on more important things? And, why do I make such a big deal out of a few settings on a blog template? I'm glad you asked...
In short: It's the principle of the matter. Blogger offers something for free that WordPress charges $15 per year for. And, when comparing the two blog platforms, it comes down to four essential qualities:
When comparing the two side by side, blogger wins in three of the four categories. (I must admit, WordPress has the upper hand in cool extra stuff - like the automatically post to Twitter and Facebook feature, and the tracking that's built into the blog - but I can get by without those things. When it comes down to the real nitty-gritty, items 1-3 are the most important, and Blogger wins in those areas.)
It's not just about the $15. In fact, my wife took the time to convince me that it wasn't even that much money to spend on the blog for one year, so the amount of money really isn't the issue - it's the fact that I have to spend the money in the first place. Template customization should be a free service (I mean come on, we're only talking about a few font color settings here). And, with Blogger, template customization is free, so in the end, it's not really that hard of a decision to make.
Also, Blogger gained a lot of bonus points by adding the really cool "pages" feature, for those of you scoring at home.
* * * *
But what about the whole "Google ate my blog" issue? Well, I thought about that for a while, and came to this conclusion: I've been blogging for almost 2 years now, I've had three blogs with Blogger (I used to write about the Red Sox until I deleted the blog, and I have a blog that I use for my Panthers blog that I create charts and graphs in and store them for future use.), and I've never had a blog deleted other than the one incident that drove me away. None of my other blogs were affected, and none of the blogs of my friends were affected, so it wasn't a "Google problem" - if it were, then surely I wouldn't have been the only one in all the blogs I read to experience the problem, right? Apparently what happened was I hit a button or changed something inadvertently and didn't figure out what it was, and the end result was my blog being screwed up beyond recovery - and I didn't feel like trying to get Google to help me because it's pointless (if you've ever dealt with customer service, you know what I'm talking about).
So, I'm pretty confident that I won't have the same issue this time around. My Panthers blog is still there, and there's nothing wrong with it (yet). In fact, had I not already spent the $15 to upgrade my WordPress Panthers blog, I'd move it back to blogger too (I'm going to wait until the upgrade expires since I've already paid for it, and it's non-refundable). So I think I'll be okay. (But, I'm keeping my WordPress blog active just in case something bad happens, because you can never be too cautious.)
* * * *
Now, to my friends. I've not been as attentive to some of my favorite blogs as I should be, and I know that this is a lame excuse, but part of the reason is because when I moved to WordPress, I stopped signing in to Blogger because I wasn't blogging there anymore, and I didn't see the updated feeds from the "blogs I follow" widget on the Blogger dashboard (WordPress doesn't have one of those, btw). I know that it's still my fault for not reading, but at least now you know part of the reason why, because for some reason I don't click on blogs if I don't see that they have a new post, even though I know that most of you write something every day. It's a flaw that I need to work on, I admit that, but now it shouldn't be a problem because being back at Blogger means I don't have an excuse any more.
* * * *
Overall, I think that I'm making the right decision, primarily because since I moved to WordPress I really haven't had the desire to blog as much because I can't get over the dislike of the blog templates. If I don't like the way my blog looks, I'm not going to have a desire to write (as was evidenced by my lack of posting over the past few months).
I know you're probably thinking: "But, your blog is so plain and simple, what's the big deal?" Well, I know it's plain - but that's the way I like it. I like the font, the font color, the link color, the design - everything about it is what I want, and WordPress can't provide it for me. All of their templates are either girly, gay, or ugly (not that there's anything wrong with that). The few that are similar to mine all have things about them that I don't like (and I'm very picky - just ask my wife), and it's enough to make me not want to use them. The template I had was the one that I hated the least of all the ones available, and there are at least three things that I don't like about it, so I think it is best for my blogging psyche to just move back to Blogger where I can change the blog as many times as I want and not have to pay a single penny for the privilege.
Anyway, I'm sure you're getting tired of this rambling mess, so I'm going to stop now. I'm glad to be back here where I belong, and I look forward to sharing my thoughts with each and every one of you.
Thanks for reading.
* - For those out of the loop, click here.
$15 per year?!? I'm too cheap for that! Why should I have to pay $15 per year to fix a few problems with default templates that I don't love, when I can come to Blogger and do pretty much whatever I want for free?
Well, there is the part where Blogger ate my other blog. But, I'm willing to forgive and forget, if Blogger is willing to cooperate with me and not eat this blog. I do see that they've added a pages feature - I may have to give that a try.
Hopefully this works, because I miss my friends at Blogger. (More on this later.)
* * * *
I've moved all my posts from WordPress to Blogger, and will now continue my blogging journey where it started. I just can't stop thinking about the fact that I would have to pay $15 per year just to change a few default settings on a blog template. The more I think of it, the less I like it, and the more I wanted to move back to blogger.
I know what you're thinking: "But dude, it's only $1.25 per month." Well, that's not entirely true, because I have two blogs at WordPress, so it would be $2.50 per month, and that's not even the point. The point is: I don't want to pay for something that I can get for free. Do I have the money? Of course I do, but why spend it on something as minor as a blog when I can spend it on more important things? And, why do I make such a big deal out of a few settings on a blog template? I'm glad you asked...
In short: It's the principle of the matter. Blogger offers something for free that WordPress charges $15 per year for. And, when comparing the two blog platforms, it comes down to four essential qualities:
- Ease of Use
- Look/Feel of Template
- Total Cost
- Cool Extra Stuff
When comparing the two side by side, blogger wins in three of the four categories. (I must admit, WordPress has the upper hand in cool extra stuff - like the automatically post to Twitter and Facebook feature, and the tracking that's built into the blog - but I can get by without those things. When it comes down to the real nitty-gritty, items 1-3 are the most important, and Blogger wins in those areas.)
It's not just about the $15. In fact, my wife took the time to convince me that it wasn't even that much money to spend on the blog for one year, so the amount of money really isn't the issue - it's the fact that I have to spend the money in the first place. Template customization should be a free service (I mean come on, we're only talking about a few font color settings here). And, with Blogger, template customization is free, so in the end, it's not really that hard of a decision to make.
Also, Blogger gained a lot of bonus points by adding the really cool "pages" feature, for those of you scoring at home.
* * * *
But what about the whole "Google ate my blog" issue? Well, I thought about that for a while, and came to this conclusion: I've been blogging for almost 2 years now, I've had three blogs with Blogger (I used to write about the Red Sox until I deleted the blog, and I have a blog that I use for my Panthers blog that I create charts and graphs in and store them for future use.), and I've never had a blog deleted other than the one incident that drove me away. None of my other blogs were affected, and none of the blogs of my friends were affected, so it wasn't a "Google problem" - if it were, then surely I wouldn't have been the only one in all the blogs I read to experience the problem, right? Apparently what happened was I hit a button or changed something inadvertently and didn't figure out what it was, and the end result was my blog being screwed up beyond recovery - and I didn't feel like trying to get Google to help me because it's pointless (if you've ever dealt with customer service, you know what I'm talking about).
So, I'm pretty confident that I won't have the same issue this time around. My Panthers blog is still there, and there's nothing wrong with it (yet). In fact, had I not already spent the $15 to upgrade my WordPress Panthers blog, I'd move it back to blogger too (I'm going to wait until the upgrade expires since I've already paid for it, and it's non-refundable). So I think I'll be okay. (But, I'm keeping my WordPress blog active just in case something bad happens, because you can never be too cautious.)
* * * *
Now, to my friends. I've not been as attentive to some of my favorite blogs as I should be, and I know that this is a lame excuse, but part of the reason is because when I moved to WordPress, I stopped signing in to Blogger because I wasn't blogging there anymore, and I didn't see the updated feeds from the "blogs I follow" widget on the Blogger dashboard (WordPress doesn't have one of those, btw). I know that it's still my fault for not reading, but at least now you know part of the reason why, because for some reason I don't click on blogs if I don't see that they have a new post, even though I know that most of you write something every day. It's a flaw that I need to work on, I admit that, but now it shouldn't be a problem because being back at Blogger means I don't have an excuse any more.
* * * *
Overall, I think that I'm making the right decision, primarily because since I moved to WordPress I really haven't had the desire to blog as much because I can't get over the dislike of the blog templates. If I don't like the way my blog looks, I'm not going to have a desire to write (as was evidenced by my lack of posting over the past few months).
I know you're probably thinking: "But, your blog is so plain and simple, what's the big deal?" Well, I know it's plain - but that's the way I like it. I like the font, the font color, the link color, the design - everything about it is what I want, and WordPress can't provide it for me. All of their templates are either girly, gay, or ugly (not that there's anything wrong with that). The few that are similar to mine all have things about them that I don't like (and I'm very picky - just ask my wife), and it's enough to make me not want to use them. The template I had was the one that I hated the least of all the ones available, and there are at least three things that I don't like about it, so I think it is best for my blogging psyche to just move back to Blogger where I can change the blog as many times as I want and not have to pay a single penny for the privilege.
Anyway, I'm sure you're getting tired of this rambling mess, so I'm going to stop now. I'm glad to be back here where I belong, and I look forward to sharing my thoughts with each and every one of you.
Thanks for reading.
19 May 2010
I really am lazy
As I sit here I realize that I haven't written anything on this blog for several weeks now, and it was a month between my last post and the post prior to it (are you confused yet?), so I need to take more time to sit down and gather my thoughts and put them here, because that's what a blog is for, right?
(Note: I looked back at my archives and realized that since March 2, I've written a grand total of four blogs, including this one - and one of those was just sharing a link I found. I really do need to get back into writing more often.)
In my defense, I have been writing, I just haven't been doing it here. I've been keeping up with news concerning the Carolina Panthers at my Panthers blog and I've been writing as a featured blogger at CSR and The Gab, so I haven't made the effort to put anything of substance together for this site, and I feel like I'm cheating myself out of the ability to just write about whatever fills my mind - kinda like what I'm doing right now, you know - talking on and on about mostly nothing but doing it anyway just to hear my own self think and talk.
Maybe I should see a professional or something, I don't know.
Anyway, I've been lazy - and I don't like being lazy, I just am. (I can't help it.) I'm sorry to those who I used to read and comment on blogs all the time, but have slacked off over the past two months (you know who you are). I don't have any fancy excuse or way to repay you for not being as attentive as I should be, but I do have an apology, and I really am sorry and promise to make more of an effort to read and comment on your blogs like I should have been doing all along.
(Totally random thought: Do people with OCD get pissed off because their disorder isn't alphabetized? I've always wondered about that.)
I'm sure that over the next few days I'll have more to share, but I just wanted to let all my loyal readers know that I'm still here, even if it hasn't seemed that way lately. I do have a few items in the ole' brain that I need to discuss, so be on the look out for that.
Or don't - since I haven't written anything in the last two months to make anyone believe I'm going to start now.
(Note: I looked back at my archives and realized that since March 2, I've written a grand total of four blogs, including this one - and one of those was just sharing a link I found. I really do need to get back into writing more often.)
In my defense, I have been writing, I just haven't been doing it here. I've been keeping up with news concerning the Carolina Panthers at my Panthers blog and I've been writing as a featured blogger at CSR and The Gab, so I haven't made the effort to put anything of substance together for this site, and I feel like I'm cheating myself out of the ability to just write about whatever fills my mind - kinda like what I'm doing right now, you know - talking on and on about mostly nothing but doing it anyway just to hear my own self think and talk.
Maybe I should see a professional or something, I don't know.
Anyway, I've been lazy - and I don't like being lazy, I just am. (I can't help it.) I'm sorry to those who I used to read and comment on blogs all the time, but have slacked off over the past two months (you know who you are). I don't have any fancy excuse or way to repay you for not being as attentive as I should be, but I do have an apology, and I really am sorry and promise to make more of an effort to read and comment on your blogs like I should have been doing all along.
(Totally random thought: Do people with OCD get pissed off because their disorder isn't alphabetized? I've always wondered about that.)
I'm sure that over the next few days I'll have more to share, but I just wanted to let all my loyal readers know that I'm still here, even if it hasn't seemed that way lately. I do have a few items in the ole' brain that I need to discuss, so be on the look out for that.
Or don't - since I haven't written anything in the last two months to make anyone believe I'm going to start now.
31 January 2010
Starting Over
Update: This post was originally written at WordPress, before I decided to move back to Blogger. (Click here for an explanation on why I'm moving back to Blogger.)
Well, you all probably know by now that blogger decided to completely destroy my other blog (The Couch Potato Chronicles) out of the blue and cause utter despair for me for a few days because not only did it inconvenience me by forcing me to create a new blog, but it also took away something that I had worked so hard to build: my domain name.
I lost the domain for TCPC, and after a few nights of trying to figure out what happened, I finally decided to give up and switch to a new blog name because I wasn't getting anywhere by trying to solve the "WTF happened" riddle and it was only causing me more and more stress by constantly thinking about it.
On a side note: I would like to thank everyone who offered their assistance. It really means a lot that you all thought enough of me to help. I would have asked for help had I decided to try and recover the blog, but when I realized that every time I tried to re-create the blog the same thing was happening, I decided that it would be best to just completely scrap the TCPC idea and start a new blog.
Which brings me to my next point: you are now reading the new and improved TCPC, only it's not TCPC any more. It's called something totally different. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to introduce you to "Confessions of a Lazy Scribe", the new and improved blog by yours truly. (I know there's really no such thing as "new and improved", because if it's new it can't be improved upon and if it's improved it can't be new - but humor me please, thanks.)
What is a lazy scribe? Well, I'm glad you asked (and you know you did). A lazy scribe is exactly what I am: a writer who enjoys writing more than just about everything else in the world, but is too lazy to get up off his bum and write a book and become filthy rich from his writings.
That's me: the lazy scribe.
And these are my confessions...
Stay tuned for more in the future. You will be glad you did.
Well, you all probably know by now that blogger decided to completely destroy my other blog (The Couch Potato Chronicles) out of the blue and cause utter despair for me for a few days because not only did it inconvenience me by forcing me to create a new blog, but it also took away something that I had worked so hard to build: my domain name.
I lost the domain for TCPC, and after a few nights of trying to figure out what happened, I finally decided to give up and switch to a new blog name because I wasn't getting anywhere by trying to solve the "WTF happened" riddle and it was only causing me more and more stress by constantly thinking about it.
On a side note: I would like to thank everyone who offered their assistance. It really means a lot that you all thought enough of me to help. I would have asked for help had I decided to try and recover the blog, but when I realized that every time I tried to re-create the blog the same thing was happening, I decided that it would be best to just completely scrap the TCPC idea and start a new blog.
Which brings me to my next point: you are now reading the new and improved TCPC, only it's not TCPC any more. It's called something totally different. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to introduce you to "Confessions of a Lazy Scribe", the new and improved blog by yours truly. (I know there's really no such thing as "new and improved", because if it's new it can't be improved upon and if it's improved it can't be new - but humor me please, thanks.)
What is a lazy scribe? Well, I'm glad you asked (and you know you did). A lazy scribe is exactly what I am: a writer who enjoys writing more than just about everything else in the world, but is too lazy to get up off his bum and write a book and become filthy rich from his writings.
That's me: the lazy scribe.
And these are my confessions...
Stay tuned for more in the future. You will be glad you did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)